why i lose my shit when i cant find my earphones

Waking up late and being in a rush to get to college is bad enough, but when you also can’t find your earphones to help you get through the day – that’s even worse.

I think this is something pretty much everyone will agree with me on because there is such reliance upon music in today’s society. But the thing is; most people you will speak to love music but are the first people to jump on others’ back when they dislike what they like! I thought the point of there being so many different kinds of music is that there's something for everyone?

On Thursday night, Zane Lowe interviewed Kanye West and they discussed things like his latest fashion line with adidas, giving North a sibling, Four Five Seconds, his upcoming album and that rumoured tour with Rihanna. So when I went into college yesterday I, of course, was running to my friends to discuss the interview. I was shocked when one of my close friends who is also a big music fan turned round and said she hated Kanye and wasn’t a fan of his music. And then my Economics teacher piped up and said Kanye was a, quote, “gimp” like, no offense, but I don’t think Kanye is overly affected by what you're saying: “I said shit I'm chilling, tryna stack these millions” (I Am a God from Yeezus). But on the other hand, I can’t help but take it personally when people slate my favourite music.

New Slaves from Yeezus is probably one of my favourite songs of all time. I like that he discusses the struggle of fame and race, although some may see it as conceited, is there any difference between him rapping about that and Taylor Swift singing about all those blokes she's slept with? I can’t see a difference. Who else could compare the Roman Empire and a packet of condoms in a song titled Black Skinhead – he is lyrically genius.

I'm not narrow-minded and I'm not going to write about just Kanye West about how much of a legend he is, especially after that Nando’s stunt. I am a fan of a ridiculously wide range of music genres including rap, pop, indie, rock, 80s, dance and house music. And I embrace it all with an open mind. You give an album a listen on Spotify and if it doesn’t take your fancy, you move on. To others it’s probably the greatest album of all time and you may disagree but that’s okay because how boring would the world be if we all liked the same albums?

My friend Laura is a big house and dance music fan and she can mix a sick playlist. She would be my go to for new dance tracks that I need to motivate myself to get some work done; how else are you supposed to crash-write that 4000 word piece of coursework that is 3 months overdue? I don’t listen to dance music all the time but I feel that it plays an important role in society. What would Kiss FM or Danny Howard play on a Friday evening if there was no dance music? What would you dance to in a club if there was no house music? I don’t own a compilation album or constantly go clubbing but I know that Settle by Disclosure was a class album. Then again, how is I'm Not That Easy by Ricky Raymont from TOWIE a real record…

Indie music is such a wide genre and has that awful social stigma attached to it that makes some fans ashamed of saying that this is their music of choice. Commercialised bands like Bastille, The Wombats or Foals only get more airplay on radios and the music channels on TV because they're just that – commercialised. It then becomes difficult for them to balance success and popularity with trying to do something that is true to them. Why do you think that we haven’t heard from The Wombats or Foals in years, or why Bastille toured Bad Blood for so long and are taking time out to make a new album? It’s even worse when fans of bands like The 1975 and Arctic Monkeys jump on new fans. You have so much in common, why are you going against each other?! AM’s instant success simultaneously pleased and disgusted Arctic Monkey’s fans. And I get it. It’s like your own little secret that is shared with a select few around the world, is then blown up and plastered on billboards and underground tube station posters and you sort of lose control of that little bubble. But that expansion of the fanbase is something that all bands have to cope with if they desire commercial success and, fundamentally, money.

It’s also weird to see fans send hate to older fans that have been fans of artists since they were small. I was at the second Alexandra Palace gig that The 1975 performed where they pulled up a teenage boy on stage. I’ve followed him on twitter for ages before the gig so when he started hysterically crying on stage I was one of the first to understand why. Like me, to have the band that you have such an attachment to and who probably changed your life to a certain extent, notice you would be overwhelming. So it was probably horrible for him to log into twitter and see dozens of tweets from other fans who were plain jealous and couldn’t control themselves. And when the same lad won a limited edition of the Medicine vinyl, the new fans were the first to send messages accusing him of tweaking the competition somehow or using his mild twitter fame to get a copy. Maybe he had a lot of email accounts subscribed to the newsletter (which was how the winner was chosen) or maybe the competition was fixed and he was chosen by the guys to get a copy because he bloody deserved it. Either way, he was having the last laugh when he showed Matty the tweets backstage and they laughed over it, he got free merchandise, recognition in radio interviews later and he posted several pictures of him and the whole band on Instagram only to get hundreds of likes. Indie music truly is a weird world – but people love to hate it.

Pop music gets an even more negative press from publications like NME who think it’s cool to nominate Harry Styles for their Villain of The Year award alongside Nigel Farage. To like a band like One Direction or Fifth Harmony is the ultimate social suicide. These bands are so hilariously uncool it becomes almost impossible for you to properly convince people that you like them, but also enjoy indie music and house music and 80s music. The only reason why I felt able to wear my ‘lol ur not harry styles’ tshirt on school photo day is because the support from fellow fans that I carry round in my phone on twitter is so strong. The amount of hate that you receive from saying you like these kinds of artists is so ridiculous, people have multiple twitter accounts because having a personal account and tweeting about music you like is so unacceptable. I think because we’re so close knit it only increases our self-confidence and strength. These ‘fandoms’ are so strong and powerful they can do so much from winning awards to starting and ending careers (note the careers of The Wanted and 5 Seconds of Summer who the One Direction fandom literally ended and started). I don’t even understand why it’s so bad to hate pop music?! Yeah I love a good bit of One Direction or 5SOS or Uptown Funk (who doesn’t though), but why does that mean that my opinion on other kinds of music is automatically disregarded? Pop music, whether you like it or not, is a vitally important part of our culture and it always had been. Was it cool to like Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley at the time? Probably not but it’s a bloody good tune.

80s music is a weird one because it doesn’t fall under a specific category but it’s mostly associated with lovers of indie music. I think there's a bit of a consensus that, if you love Oasis or The Cure, then you’re trying desperately hard to be cool. The word ‘indie’ itself is widely used negatively to hate on people who relate to, or even just like the sound of, 80s music. The influence of the 80s and 90s culture is so well-reflected in today’s society as seen through the rise of vintage shops and the rerelease of records on vinyl and I think this is just another way in which music affects us all through culture.

Bound 2’s success was so wide spread and everyone had it playing on their iPhone. It even spread further into popular culture when James Franco and Seth Rogan recreated the video with a comedic slant. It’s weird how this commercial success was so acceptable but the rest of Yeezus wasn’t. The other tracks on that album and albums like it such as Drake’s If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late talk about things that bloody matter. Your parents probably won’t agree with the pure quantity of expletives but how is it any different from the explicit version of the Blurred Lines video that has over 38 million views on YouTube? Kanye’s basically muted performance at the BRITs on Wednesday probably would’ve been the talk of the night if it wasn’t for Madonna’s hilariously awful trip during her performance, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that most music isn’t accepted by other people if it isn’t what they like.

Like I said, losing your earphones in the morning is so catastrophic because music is so important to everyone. Everyone has a fall-back genre of music and that resonates within everyone because it’s an integral part of culture in the 21^st century. But why does differing music tastes simultaneously mean that we’re all different? It’s another form of social inequality and, although it’s obviously not as important as issues such as racism or feminism, it’s something that I think young people face daily and it’s something that needs to be addressed. But in the meantime, as you listen to your respective artists, have a little consideration that your musical snobbery doesn’t affect others and they are going to continue to listen to One Direction and Kanye West and The Smiths whether you  like it or not.

british hairways piloted by loren miles and bleach london

Loren and the Bleach London team in Dalston are the mane ambassadors for the emerging generation of vunge hair colours.

Loren for Lou Teasdale’s beauty bible ‘The Craft’

Bleach London and their wide range of products have been navigating teens to transform their tresses from everyday natural colours, to pastel, punk and peroxide shades from their bathrooms up and down the country. Taking inspiration from the quick, unusual streets that surrounds their salon in East London the guys have been at the forefront of creating a trend that has well and truly taken off. From celebrities to your Average Joe, Loren’s been able to get her applicator brush into the hair of hundreds of clients helping them to make their hair totally unique.

Bleach always sounds so scary when you've never used it before! How old were you when you first dyed your hair, and what did you do to it?

I think the first time I dyed my hair was probably when I was about 14, and it was just one of those wash in wash out dyes from Boots. But I also remember buying a product called Sun-In, and spraying that on my hair in the summer with my friends whilst sunbathing on the school field.

And, honestly, how successful was it?

It wasn't great. Either the temporary '5 wash' box dyes turned it a barely noticeable slightly darker colour. And the spray just turned parts of it a nice bleachy yellow.

So what were you doing when you first realised you wanted to take up hairdressing as a profession?

I was actually studying photography at the time. I loved photography but my passion for it lay with film cameras, and developing my own photos in the dark room. Most of my course was geared towards digital so I had started to wonder if it was better off as a hobby for me. I assisted at 16/17 on college photography shoots, and when seeing the people providing the hair and make-up I started thinking about changing my studies. I grew up with two sisters, and a lot of girlfriends and had always enjoyed doing their hair when we were bored or during sleepovers, but this was probably the first time I'd considered making it into a career.

What has been your ultimate hair disaster?

I think me and a friend at 16 tried to dye our own hair blonde. Mine being a mousey colour naturally lightened easily (to a nice shade of yellow that at the time I seemed really happy about), whereas hers struggled. She had dark hair and when it stopped lifting at orange we decided it'd be a great idea to cover her head in foil and apply heat using the hairdryer (knowing what I know now the thought of doing that makes me cringe.) Luckily we didn't break any of her hair but it meant she had a nice mix of orange and yellow in a tie-dye like print all over her head. It didn't look good.

What time of day do you find yourself getting the most inspiration?

Definitely at night. Whether this is because we tend to start late and finish late at Bleach so I'm most awake, or whether it's because this is when I actually have time to sit and browse online or look through Pinterest, I'm not sure. But late at night.

Do you have a specific playlist or genre of music you can always fall back on?

I don't, no. I just have top Spotify playlists composed of my favourite easy going songs.

What are your top 3 most-used emojis?

What apps do you find are the best for photo editing to show all the cool things you get up to on platforms like Instagram and Twitter?

I use a variety of apps for different things. I'd love to develop my own that compiles all the little things I love about them all. FaceTune is good for retouching and their filters and lenses are soft and attractive. Afterlight is good for borders, and playing around with lighting. Mega photo is a new one I downloaded, it's so silly and really fun.

The BLEACH salon on Kingsland Road in East London which Loren and the rest of the team call home when they're not in the Topshop, Oxford Street salon or bleaching locks.

I remember getting my hair bleached for the first time and when I got home I cried because it was so different! What is the number one tip you’d give to someone before they made a big hair commitment like shaving a patch or bleaching?

I guess just think about it for a while before you commit to make sure it's what you want. If you're going to undergo a big bleach job try and get your hair in the best condition possible before you or the stylist begins by cutting it and using treatments. If you're shaving a panel, cool go for it! Just be aware that the process of growing it out is long and annoying, so only do it if you plan on having it for a while to make it worth it!

After sticking to a hairstyle on yourself,what is the most drastic thing you’ve done to someone else’s hair?

A dark to light, full head bleach job, shaved panels and multicolours.

And what's the most drastic thing you’ve done? Any tattoos or big commitments?

I have a few tattoos, on my arms and leg. I never regard anything that I'm doing to my hair as big commitment as I work with a group of friends who can always change it for me. I shaved parts when I was a kid but I didn't think of that as a big deal at the time.

In the future, what is the next thing you’re looking forward to trying both in the hair-world and outside of it?

In hair-world I’m brushing up on my gents cutting and styling at the moment, so I look forward doing more of that in salon. I'm also considering setting myself up a website or blog to get more involved with work online. Outside of work I'm looking forward to booking some holidays!

four review

I think it goes without saying that I’m the world’s biggest One Direction fan (soz patsy). And I know FOUR was released about 40000000 light years ago in the big-one-direction-scheme of things but yanno I'm a busy kid; I go to college and have homework and have stuff to do so now I have some time I thought “let’s write about the best album to ever grace the planet”.

Here's the trackilst in full:

1. Steal My Girl
2. Ready to Run
3. Where Do Broken Hearts Go
4. 18
5. Girl Almighty
6. Fool's Gold
7. Night Changes
8. No Control
9. Fireproof
10. Spaces
11. Stockholm Syndrome
12.Clouds
Exclusive Bonus Tracks
13. Change Your Ticket
14. Illusion
15. Once in a Lifetime
16. Act My Age

1. STEAL MY GIRL
Well, I went to the BBC Music Awards in December last year (which I know I said before I was going to write about but I am soooooooo busy but I do have a list on my phone of things I'm going to get round to writing eventually I promise) and they performed SMG there and Harry was wearing some amazing trousers…

If you have forgotten a) wHY and b) they looked like this:

This is them performing Steal My Girl at the BBC Music Awards

This song is the headline (??) one off the album and by that I mean it’s the first single so it’s always like a party upbeat song- just the same with What Makes You Beautiful, Live While We’re Young and Best Song Ever. So it’s no real surprise that when this song was released I was dancing and fist punching the air like Harry all over my bedroom. I think that it’s just such a happy song and the fact that the video makes 0 sense and relates -30% to what the song is talking about makes the song even better. I really enjoyed Harry’s coat (and generally most things about Harry) in this video and Niall’s little rocking back and forth dance with those African dancers and the general feel that this track gives. It may not be the best song on the album but whenever it comes on you know that everyone instantly knows who it’s by and I mean that’s probably due to their relentless airplay (that even I get sick of I KNOW) but when you listen to the album and come back to this song it just makes you smile real big and it’s fab. I think it was Kati (YAAAS KATI J) who said that someone at the hospital radio she helps out at said “and that was One Direction with girls are possessions” when the track finished and when I laughed she looked at me like I’d grown a second head. People think all One Direction fans are a bit mental and will chop you up and put you in their broth if you say one bad word about Louis’ smoking habit and (even though I sometimes kinda want to do that when someone insults Harry) we’re not stupid. This bad stigma attached really pisses me off but that’s not to do with this track in particular. Overall SMG is a crackin tune.

Have (another) listen.

2. READY TO RUN
This track is a nice follow up to SMG and, lyrically, (even though not all of it makes complete sense) One Direction love a good metaphor and this songs first verse is not short of them. The chorus is a nice pick-me-up and I always get a real sense of feeling uplifted when I hear this song. The “escape from the city and follow the sun” line gives a kind of feeling that, if you want to do something, you really can do it. The drums before the chorus drops, I'm imagining, would be so powerful live and if you concentrate you can sort of imagine the boys running about on that massive stage performing this track. The reassurance that this track gives is something really important that I think the fanbase as a whole needed. It’s not even remotely cool to like One Direction outside your bedroom but the confirmation that songs like Ready to Run give people like me is something that you carry with you and make you hold your head up just that little bit higher and wear your “lol ur not harry styles” tshirt to college on photo day.

Feel that self-validation.

3. WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO
DID EVERYONE SEE THEM PERFORM THIS WITH FUCKIN RONNIE WOOD OF THE ROLLING STONES BECAUSE HOOOOOOOOOOMYGOSHD

Harry’s clearly bursting with pride and disbelief and amazement that he's been able to perform side by side with such a legend and someone who’s an inspiration to him or at least someone he's a huge fan of. Also, that guitar solo … I may have been at my friends’ house and I may have been cuddled into the corner of their sofa and I may have been clutching my face and I may have been crying but hey, if you can’t get excited over something you love, then what can you get excited about?!

I just thought of one tumblr text post in particular and I'm going to put that in because what a corker

r u cryin bc i am

Lyrically, this is not a song I have an overwhelming amount of relation to but I can always get up and have a good hip-shake to it. The “tell me now tell me now” bit is a personal favourite and maybe that’s because it’s Harry’s solo or it’s because I can always see that sodding flamingo shirt when I hear it or maybe it’s because it’s just plain groovy (who says groovy in 2015??) but the song is mental live and the guitar solo is 400 out of 10. Overall a siiiiick party dance song for a fan.

Have a groove after you hit play.

4. 18
Jesus Christ its 23:51 and I'm only on track 4 god help me. That is actually pretty much how I feel the whole way through listening to this song. Harry opening it and singing “baby” and leading the chorus means that I'm now writing this from beyond the grave. I knew I was going to turn 18 not long after the album was released and when I saw the tracklist I was like yes party anthem for my birthday but you could probably not be more wrong. If you were in love from a young age (not even 18 in particular tbh) I think you’d love this song a lot more than I do but it in no way means that you can’t appreciate the angelic vocals on this track. The final chorus which is half acapella Louis really highlights his voice and does it justice considering he hasn’t got the strongest voice in the band (don’t hate me please). I like this track but yanno not one of my favourites, I think there’s better songs on the album.

Have a little cry, its okay.

5. GIRL ALMIGHTY
One thing this album is not short of is drastic mood swings. You couldn’t have 2 more contrasting songs next to each other on an album if you tried. Yet again there is an abundance of metaphors in the first verse (they really do love that) and amongst all the ambulances and balloons and saviours there's a pretty catchy song (with Harry’s ridiculously good vocals too). I really like that Niall has the first chorus because he has the right pitch to his voice for it. Louis is a little swallowed up in this track but hey, don’t rain on the parade that is this track. The crescendo at the end of the track is pretty good and very unlike anything One Direction has done before and I like it quite a lot! The only reason any of them would be getting down on their knees for me, would only be to scrape me off the floor.

“I hope you feel what I'm feeling tooooooooooooooooooo”

6. FOOL’S GOLD
I know this one is one of Patsy’s faves (iyaaaaa) but I wasn’t so hot on it at first (probably due to the way it starts with a load of metaphors and similes agaaaain) but you listen to the chorus and if you can relate to the lyrics it will make you cry. I'm crying right now as I type this. No shame. This song is probably in my top 5 from this album and I think lyrically they’ve really grown as a band from something as lame as dancing under the lights in a club and having their hearts stolen like sorry but at 17 to 19 years old I don’t think they were doing a lot of that?! Well not if they went to a college with a work load like mine … then again Louis was planning to resit his A2 year so who knows lol sorry Lou! Anyway, this song is really pretty and I don’t know how that works but if this song was a fabric it’d definitely be lace.

Get out yer hankies.

7. NIGHT CHANGES
Another music video plug (!!) It is now my life dream to go ice skating with Harry because if he’s gonna look at me like that when he ties up my boots I can die happy. I think the thing I like about this is that it’s still a slow romantic-y track but the drums help to make it less miserable and more uplifting. The lyrics definitely add to that “there’s nothing to be afraid of even when the night changes”. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a looking-out-the-window-longingly-on-a-long-car-journey track. The chorus tells me (personally) that things are going to change at this point in your life whether its moving college, going off to university or something closer to home, and that’s kind of inevitable but if you do it right, things won’t go wrong and you’ll be okay. It reaches the teen audience perfectly and I think because they're not even that much older than us themselves, their ability to turn this general feeling into lyrics is done so well on this track imparticular. Also I should probably mention that they’ve all in turn helped to write every song this album (apart from steal my girl because yanno that’s all publicity driven because it’s the first track off the new album) and that really comes through on this record.

Find your nearest window and have a stare out of it (or at Zayn with spaghetti on his head but still managing to look like a Versace model).

8. NO CONTROL
Someone really needs to have a word with One Direction about their tracklisting order because the swings still continue to give me a heart attack (haha punny) and the albums been out for almost 3 months now. From the title, you would probably expect this one to be upbeat and it is. Despite even more metaphors (now I'm writing about them I'm realising how many there actually are) Louis’ voice is carried perfectly in this chorus. I think, in the same way that Ready to Run achieves, this goes perfectly into the category of One Direction songs entitles “IDGAF WHAT YOU SAY JUDGE AWAY I LOVE THIS BAND” and to be perfectly honest you can never have enough of those. The constant guitar rippling throughout the back of this track is really good – I'm no music expert but I can pick up on these things because I have ears and stupid amount of love for this band. This one is going to be crazy good live and you can sort of tell because the vocals aren’t going to need to be perfect because the album version has quite a bit of synth on it so the boys will have more fun performing it live so it will just be better in general.

You can hit play and then grab your hairbrush just before the first verse starts.

9. FIREPROOF
I love this track so much. This was the first song I heard off FOUR (I think) and I think that it was good to release this one for free before the rest of the album as it captures and reflects the maturity of the whole of the fourth album pretty well. This track doesn’t really pick up or drop down and off the top of my head I can’t really think of another song by any artist that does that. I guess it’s your typical love song but there have been some great meme’s from the lyrics of this song.

"NOT SO FIREPROOF NOW HUH"

And the classic that is this meme that perfectly describes that overwhelming wave of emotion that makes you want to smile so big and cry all at the same time which I think fans need quiiiiiiite often.

Hear the jokes in context.

10. SPACES
This song confuses me a bit. I'm not 200% sure of the meaning of this song that I can relate to, but I quite like it because it makes me head bang slowly like I'm mentally derranged during the chorus. Maybe it’s about having a rough patch in a relationship but caring enough to try and work through it (?) I think that’s taking it a bit at face value though. The best thing about this song is easily the vocals. The acapella beginning of the last chorus with the drums which lead into the drop into the chorus and Harry singing “who’s gonna be the first to say goodbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye” in his gravelly tone makes me want to listen to that line alone on repeat.

You could gravel your own drive with the vocals in this track.

11. STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
Oh my gosh I thought I’d never get to this track. Even aside from the “it’s more about a nympho” line (x), this song is by far my favourite on the album. It’s the perfect balance between upbeat and serious and its pace is excellent to walk to college/town/home to. I like that it’s kind of about being pretty fucked up but kind of enjoying it (?) kind of like what it’s like to like this band. Musically, this is my favourite record they’ve ever made. Also when I found out that Harry was the one who wrote the song, it affirmed its place as my favourite song. I don’t normally like a fade-out but I will make an exception for this track. The way bits of the song also fade in and out of the chorus (“woah”) and also in the gaps in the verses (“woah oh oh oh oh oh”) is something new that I've, again, not really heard before. There is a load of great Liam adlibs on this track too which adds to the track. Despite how much I adore this track, I'm not too sure how it will go down live?! Will they play it up with fireworks and lights and a cool screen animation, or keep it simpler like make it a transition song to move from one area of the stage to another? Who knows. This band has repeatedly thrown me curveballs on this album which keeps me, as a listener, on my toes which I reeeeeeally love.

Start designing your light show or screen animation with this playing in the background.

12. CLOUDS
The opening of this song transitions so perfectly from the end of Stockholm Syndrome it makes you forget about the rollercoaster of transitions that is the first half of this album. Almost. From the start you know this is going to be a song that will keep you on your feet throughout and the lights show and arena feel is going to be ridiculous live. I think it’s a track you can put on even at 1am (I am currently exhibit A) and still have a solo party. The only thing about this song is that it makes you so pumped, you can’t sit still and just have to get up and express you excitement through an aggressive shoulder dance with some kicking about and jumping. And that annoys people around you at college, trust me. The thing that makes this track so successful is the way it starts off with that insane guitar playing (which you do hear later again in the chorus) and then takes you so far down, when the chorus hits it’s like being at the top of that Stealth rollercoaster at Thorpe Park. (I imagine I'm too scared to go on it … I will never enjoy the rollercoaster that is life. Soz Zayn.)

Go annoy some people trying to do work around you and play this one out loud. And very loud.

UE 13. CHANGE YOUR TICKET
If you were smart enough to buy the deluxe edition of the album then this is the bonus end of the album you get. If you were stupid then this is where the fun ends for you I'm afraid. The opening of this song is so like Girls by The 1975 I'm not sure how I feel. I know they were going to work together but The 1975 were too busy touring about 75834075093581 shows last year so couldn’t fit in some time to write and produce with One Direction. But if they gave them anything, it’s all gone into this track for sure. I think the best way to describe this track is as the pop-ier version of Girls to be honest. The guitar is so similar. I'm pretty sure I can hear some spaceship sound effects too. Harry singing on top of the last chorus over Liam in his voice is the twisting of the knife on this record. His vocals are quieter but so much more pronounced and it’s actually making me tear up a little at how much his voice has changed since 2010 and the days of the snood and Jack Wills Barbour jackets. Lyrically, this song sounds like its talking about an extended one night stand and to be honest I haven’t actually been able to get past that in my short-sighted ways. It doesn’t really bother so much because my mind travels to the cool video for Girls that The 1975 shot which I think embodies this song quite well.

Put on you ripped black skinny jeans and have a listen.

UE 14. ILLUSION
The opening of this song is wicked. I find myself hanging out the car window screaming “TELL ME YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE” and then after the chorus you're brought back up to that feeling into something that sounds like what raspberry ripple ice cream tastes like. There are nice backing vocals mixed in with the main vocals and a steady drum beat and some other stuff going on which is successful. And then to top it all off Niall is telling you that you can tie him up in chains and throw away the key which, cmon, is pretty good. It probably is an illusion though…

Grab yer bike chain.

UE 15. ONCE IN A LIFETIME
I sometimes forget this track is even on the album until it comes on but I don’t think that’s because it’s a rubbish song. It’s a really nice acoustic song that shows off their vocals which have reeeeeally changed since 2010 when the band were first about and it’s great. It comes across as a song that has some kind of emotional baggage of regret attached to it and, because the album really is coming from the boys, its filled with that personal aspect which makes the music all the more genuine and that’s something that come across in the entire album.

Be warned there are more metaphors, but they're the best ones on the album.

UE 16. ACT MY AGE
If you’ve heard this track you're probably already smiling. This song is overflowing with teenager and fun and it’s definitely a party song, but it discusses getting old ungracefully and how, even though life is proper serious (like all the time) there are moments where you look back on some of the things you’ve done and realised that you have come far even if it has only been four years. The break between the chorus and the bridge is making me dance even from this chair and I think that from the stage, the boys will take it as a moment to run around on the huge stage before they break out into some “oooooooooh”’s and some finger clicking whilst walking in a box during the bridge. The whistling is just added fun too. The acapella chorus right at the end makes you have another lolling out the car window moment “I WOOOOOOOOONT ACT MY AGE no i WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT ACT MY AGE”. By this point, we’ve reached album four and there are still “na na na”’s in their music and I know there's some fans who don’t like it but I think it’s a feature that here to stay – and I like it. This song closes the album so perfectly you’d think the first half was organised by a completely different band.

Get out on your roof or open your bedroom window and have a shout.

FOUR is probably my joint favourite album tied with Midnight Memories because there are some great tunes on that album even if it is a bit more mainstream than FOUR. Even proper critics (not just mediocre teenage writers like me) have said that One Direction have evolved in this album and it’s refreshing to see something positive in the news about this band rather than NME slating them and nominating Harry as villain of the year again (yawn) which is quite frankly getting old whilst he's out there living life, wearing YSL everyday, giving pizza to homeless people and being a walking ball of sunshine while them crappy journo’s sit behind their screen day after day being miserable.

Also for Christmas just gone, I got the FOUR vinyl (alas not the ultimate edition because that doesn't actually exist). I cannot even begin to describe how good the vinyl makes so me of the songs and vocals sound. For songs like No Control it doesn’t really do anything for it but there are songs you would expect to sound great on vinyl and they do like Fool’s Gold and Fireproof. Suprisingly, tracks like Girl Almighty and Ready to Run sound great on vinyl and that sort of scratchy feel that comes with any vinyl really gives these tracks a little sumthin sumthin.

For me, FOUR reflects a new dimension of this band and it’s something that is welcomed with great response as I grow older. I'm not sure if it’s something 15 year old me would like, but that’s okay because music is supposed to evolve and change and who wants to listen to 4 versions of the same album anyway? Now its 1:50am and I need to go to sleep probably thinking of how the night will have changed (nudge nudge) by the time I'm up again and posting this in the morning.