one devestation

So as it approaches the 2 week anniversary of Zayn’s departure from the best thing that happened to him, I thought I’d take this time to write up the general reaction. I would say that it’s taken me 2 weeks because I’ve been doing revision, but it’s the second week of the holidays and I'm yet to properly pick up a biro (if you don’t count the revision timetable that everyone shows to their parents to prove yes mum I am really revising hard now look I've got a timetable and everything I'm totally going to get good grades in August!! *gets an E). Also there’s been other stuff happening in the last 2 weeks so I wanna write about that too.

First of all though; Zayn. Now there’s really been mixed reactions to this. I'm not sure if I believe the rumours about 200+ people committing suicide like I doubt that, but I totally believe that about a gazillion hearts broke at 4pm last Wednesday. I was in college when I heard and the whole thing really took me by surprise. I think I was in shock for like 6 hours because it wasn’t until I was sitting infront of my wardrobe at 22:30 when I started crying. It’s only because it made me realise that this is like a fifth of what it’s going to feel like when they split up and … that is too much for me right now … no. can each of them drop out one by one to make it easier? Harry last though. And can we also get one of those Take-That-style hotlines because I’ll genuinely need to add that to my speed dial. Does anyone actually use speed dial in the 21^st century?

Anyway, the reaction has been one of the most interesting aspects of the fiasco. The divide in the fanbase has been intriguing; some have supported him even through the Naughty Boy issues and memes and the solo music nicked from FOUR, whereas some have well and truly given him the boot. It is weird to see Harry, Niall, Louis and Liam and stage and for that to be it? Like there’s no fifth member going to run on late and join in on the high notes on You & I or step off the plane in Dubai. It’s a bit like getting a box of chocolates and there's that gap in the middle of the tray where it looks like a chocolate should go but there isn’t actually a chocolate that is supposed to go in that gap? Well, personally, I don’t care much for what he does anymore because I don’t really understand why he’d leave something like that behind? They definitely need a break though so I guess he was done with waiting to be granted it and just took it on his own terms. Either way; ADIOS ZAYN GOOD LUCK WITH THE FUTURE N ALL THAT.

In other news, the end of term also means times up for all my English Language and History coursework and I haven’t really decided if that’s a good thing? I'm glad it’s done and over with but then I'm still not really satisfied with any of it. I had so many problems with my English teacher this year I'm not so hopeful for how that’s going to go or how the exam is going to fair but we’ll see in August I guess. So I'm a bit devastated about how my chances of getting into a decent uni are slowly slipping away but maybe if I can get my ass in gear and not be writing blog posts at 2am I might get somewhere but I'm not going to bet on that as my body has already adjusted to a 3am bedtime.

Last week was my monthly social event so I actually went to a party out in Mersea (where the woman in black house is/was filmed so I'm never going there again). And once again there was a cute boy and I was so drunk like I started drinking as soon as I set foot in that summer house I think I polished off a bottle of vodka myself because I woke up at 5am (in my bed) and the room was spinning and Kati snoring was hurting my head. But the point is there was another cute boy and I was far too drunk by the time he arrived to even hold a conversation so I just carried on drinking of course. However he made me a vodka and lemonade <3 Turns out he knows one of my close friends so it was so good to know that, when she sent him a message on Facebook the next afternoon as I was nursing my hangover, that he [quote] “didn’t remember anyone’s name” #memorable

That was kind of devastating but I was so drunk I don’t really remember it so that’s not so bad.

And today (well yesterday, it’s 2am) was the one year anniversary of when I went to see The 1975 for the first ever time at the Royal Albert Hall and that’s a bit devastating. I cannot even begin to describe how much this band means to me so to have a day of remembering the first time I ever saw them in real life is a big thing. They’re pretty great and I love them a whole lot and I am real excited for album 2.

Also, in other devastating things going on in my world right now, my hair is now brown as of today so if you were a fan of it blonde you’d probably be devastated that it’s now brown. I swear I'm not copying Kim Kardashian and dying it darker again; but then sometimes as I watch her claw on her iPhone 6 plus iPad contraption that is only available to the elite and go shopping with her size 96 ass and million dollar estate - I feel like doing some squats.

#hairchameleon