do what u gotta do

I was in the public library yesterday and I went on instagram to procrastinate a little bit. I was scrolling through my feed and I saw that Gemma Styles had posted a picture about her new project or job with DEBRIEF, and that her first piece was up online. Naturally I headed over to safari to read it and, although my expectations weren’t that high, I found myself happily surprised with her writing (you can read it here x). It got me thinking about how, despite her brother being Harry Styles and how she might not have been able to live in London without the financial support, there is actually something for everyone and you’ll get there in the end.

I really enjoy writing and it’s all I can ever bring myself to do. Equations, no thanks. Diagrams, I’ll pass. But a 45 mark essay on Elizabethan government, pass me a biro and an A4 pad and I'm away. I may not be particularly good at it but I think that’s beside the point. I often dream of living in a big city like London or Manchester and going out on nights outs with friends and dancing under streetlights and stuff, but it seems quite unrealistic when you get down from your cloud and realise that you need money to do this. Going back to living at home after being away at university is my idea of hell but, unfortunately, seems very likely. How often are 21 year olds financially stable enough to jump into a big city (with a fricken ridiculous cost of living) and find employment straight away?

But do not fear. I have found some comfort in the thought of short term to pain for long term gain. How useful will my Modern History with Economics degree be in finding employment? Maybe not that much. But I couldn’t go to university and be on a course that I don’t love and pretend to people for three years. So as I filled out my UCAS form I kept in mind what would make me happy and I think that’s the kind of approach you have to take through life. You might have to live at home for a little while, but when you’re a train journey away from huge cities - is it really that bad? I have also found comfort in the knowledge that one of best friends’ older sister has never lived at home since heading off for her first year at university, so that may not be the reality for everyone.

You have to love something to be able to do it for life because that’s a pretty long time. Whether it be for three years (maybe even more) at university, or for a career - pick something you love. Maybe my dreams of being a writer in a big city are a bit idealistic, or someone else’s dream of being a lawyer seem flawed because the market is flooded with lawyers, but you should just follow through with it because these things just work themselves out. Even if you suck at it, isn’t that what you go to classes for? Or what you go to university for? Following a passion is something that makes you who you are. Whether it be enjoying loads of different types of music, or enjoying watching Britain’s Got Talent and looking at Tudor houses, or going out drinking and conducting biology experiments – there really is something for everyone.

So if your sibling is not a multi-millionaire, do not despair. Your dreams may not be out of your reach. If the economy forecasts that there is no need for you and your profession anymore or you think that no one actually wants to see your work, I can assure that there is or someone does. I'm trying to describe the feeling I had sitting at my desk looking at Gemma Styles’ happy little writer face, but I'm not sure how well I've done that. All I can really contribute is maybe a little self-assurance and 700 words about how u gotta do what u gotta do.